Takarazuka Personal Book volume 1, Asami Hikaru
“Talking with Asato Shizuki”
People's meetings – there's always a reason they happen, you know.
Asami: It's been a long time! Zunko-san, we were in Cosmos Troupe together, but since then we haven't been able to talk just the two of us. So I knew I absolutely wanted to ask for you for this conversation…
Shizuki: I understand.
Asami: I asked at Damemodo, and you accepted. I'm sincerely thankful for today. Those are my true feelings.
Shizuki: Thank you for that. (Laughs) I'd just gotten back from Bali. I was so happy you chose me.
Asami: A long time ago, we were in Flower Troupe together, right?
Shizuki: In the shinjin-kouen (Newcomer's Show) of Spartacus, you played a “Slave For Sale,” Komu-chan. I remember it quite clearly!
Asami: I remember it too! You played a really scary character, Baromaa. When you scowled at me, I really was as frightened as a “Slave For Sale”! (Laughs)
Shizuki: In those Flower Troupe years, I can't really think of any particular points – in practice together, or anything. Really what's memorable is when we were in Cosmos Troupe. Komu-chan, how was it changing troupes and coming to Cosmos Troupe?
Asami: That was the first time I changed troupes but, really, rather than changing troupes, we had to create Cosmos Troupe. And that was incredible.
Shizuki: It's not the same, is it? Going to a place that's already complete, all by yourself, versus going to a place where there's just nothing and everyone is going with you.
Asami: Yes, that's true. Cosmos Troupe launched with the Hong Kong performance and doing an overseas show while adjusting was really fun. I can't believe it, but I can't think of any time together with you.
Shizuki: That time everyone – really, each individual person – made such a huge effort. Everyday, more and more… At the practice hall for the Hong Kong performance everyone tried terribly hard. Everyday, really working too severely, and then we'd just start laughing.
Asami: When it came to the step choreography, I was laughing while I cried. I couldn't remember the moves for the Japanese style show, and I just wanted to scream! When I cracked, everyone was laughing… or that's how I felt. I couldn't quite get the moves, and so everyone had to wait.
Shizuki: Ah, you felt that way? But Komu-chan, you always seem so nimble. That's why when you had a terrible time and were awkward, everyone couldn't help laughing – it's nothing to worry about.
Asami: I was trying so earnestly, but I couldn't even handle just walking out there.
Shizuki: You were not good at taking the lead.
Asami: And that's how Cosmos Troupe learned, “Don't let Asami Hikaru be in the front!” (Laughs) After the Hong Kong show was your real premiere performance Excalibur. But by then I wasn't “off” anymore at all. That was when I really put my whole heart into it.
Shizuki: I think it helped that since we were all standing at the same start line, we all felt the same anxiety.
Asami: Well, our positions were different, but since it felt like we were standing at the same line, we began to feel like we shared the same air.
The Unforgettable Elisabeth Performance
Asami: And so then I was moved to Snow Troupe…
Shizuki: Sweetheart, you're forgetting the incredible thing before that!
Asami: I thought we'd save the biggest event for later!! (Laughs) Well, let's go ahead and talk about it now. During the Elisabeth show – now I can laugh while I talk about it, but – at the time I was truly so overwrought that I couldn't see what was going on around me.
Shizuki: Komu-chan played Rudolph.
Asami: If we talk about the other troupes, Kouju Tatsuki-san, Wao Youka-san, Emao Yuu-san – all these big name stars played Rudolph. How did this part come to me?! I was still going, “Eeeek!” when rehearsal started. And in all of Cosmos Troupe, I was the only one who was going to sing with Zunko-san! When I heard that, I thought, “Woooow!” It felt like I'd just swallowed the world! That time, right up until the end, you taught me so much. Starting with how to use my voice and how to sing… Right?
Shizuki: Yeah. I guess so! (Laughs)
Asami: I really remember in “Yami ga Hirogaru” (The Darkness Is Spreading) I couldn't get the sound of the harmony at all. “That's wrong,” you told me. “It's wrong! It's wrong!” – I couldn't understand anything other than that. I got too stressed over it. I couldn't even grasp how the sound was wrong.
Shizuki: Oh, so it was like that… (Laughs) Even now it's such a clear picture – in that scene where I crept up on Rudolph from behind, something happened between you and me. Honestly, at that time I wasn't myself, I wasn't a person. It was Tod's feelings. While singing “Yami ga Hirogaru,” I had a sense like I could control people. It was that kind of mood. I was brainwashed into that world by the song. Even now, I can remember that step from the wing out onto the stage.
Asami: Me too! In that song, there was a violent wave of emotion. It felt like the real me – had just left.
Shizuki: Yes, exactly! “Had left” – that's really the feeling.
Asami: When I was in that state where my sense of self was gone, it felt like I'd sort of committed suicide.
Shizuki: The atmosphere was just that intense, wasn't it?
Asami: At the beginning when you suddenly turned around, the way you acted changed everyday, so I enjoyed it each time.
Shizuki: Everyday it was different. Moment by moment, everyday we perfected the story.
Asami: It was the first show where a role blew me over like that. You drew that feeling out of me, so I'm happy that you remember it too!
Learning to Free the Soul: Cosmos Troupe Years
Shizuki: When I really got to know the real Komu-chan was after we were together in Cosmos Troupe. So much time has passed since then… You were cool right up till the end.
Asami: I don't know about that. (Laughs)
Shizuki: Your outer self and inner self are completely different. I think the most different of anyone I know. What should I call it… you conceal your abilities?
Asami: But to you it's like I'm transparent?
Shizuki: Since I can see that about you, I can't help laughing to myself.
Asami: You really do see through me.
Shizuki: You're usually an incredibly cheerful and interesting girl, but when it came to the stage I was troubled that you didn't really communicate that brightness to others. You couldn't take advantage of it. But when I listened to you, it came out.
Asami: Up until then, I'd almost never talked with an upperclassman. But, you always listened to me and watched and told me so many things.
Shizuki: I just told you that you should laugh on stage too, the same as you would normally. There's so many good places inside you – bring them out and show them.
Asami: So I went, “Oh! Is it really okay to put out just the regular me like that?” I had been really aware that, “After all, I'm an otokoyaku, but since I have this baby face if I laugh too much it'll be bad…” At least, that's what I thought. But when you told me differently, I felt like I could breathe easier.
Shizuki: I think there's a lot of ways we imitate our upperclassmen. And sometimes we think, “Oh! I want to become her!” But there's a limit to that mimicry. With a smile, the other person is shown the wonderful real you. For the stage, that's what I feel is the number one thing to put forward. So, when it came to you Komu-chan, I didn't want you to shut away that smile just because you're an otokoyaku, or a whatever-yaku.
Asami: That's how I understood that it's okay to be open and laugh, just your normal laugh. That it's important for people to know that you're enjoying yourself.
Shizuki: But then when you started, it was full-force all the way open!
Asami: It was too open, huh! It was really terrible that time…
Shizuki: Didn't you realize a lot back then? About yourself.
Asami: Actually, until I came to Cosmos Troupe, I was living in a way where I disguised myself. For example, it would have been good to be more at ease with the theater company … stuff like that. Just dealing with the group in itself, I felt like it was impossible if I wasn't just my usual self. But on the other hand, you mustn't be rude when it comes to upperclassmen. So when I was in Flower Troupe, I thought of it as “Only when necessary.” Then I came to Cosmos Troupe and you encouraged me. That's when I realized.
Shizuki: It's just that I'm the type of person who really wants to encourage someone, just to say, “Show your real self!” – with that kind of feeling. (Laughs)
Asami: Before I knew someone like that, I was the type who just pulled away from myself.
Shizuki: I used to be the same way. I wonder if that's why I worried about Komu-chan, who was the same type as me. When I went to Cosmos Troupe, I made a choice to just open up, and to fix myself. I decided to face everything until the end and go for it! I had to have fun, and with so many friends with me it would have been a waste not to. Since I sensed that, I think I changed myself.
Asami: I also went from Flower Troupe to Cosmos Troupe, and was with you in both. It's rude to say this but… I became a lot more cheerful in Cosmos.
Shizuki: You changed a lot too, huh?
Asami: In Snow Troupe, when I went on with Taatan (Kouju Tatsuki) who'd been on stage with me in Flower Troupe, she cried, “Komu-chan, you've changed!” “What! In what way?” “Well, you're laughing.” Hearing that, I realized that I didn't laugh like that when I was in Flower Troupe. (Smiles) In Cosmos Troupe, my soul was freed. My self was freed. Because of what you taught me, when I went to Snow Troupe I had a lot of resistance at first, but soon I melted right in.
Song Trouble SOS
Shizuki: You changed troupes before the Tokyo run of Elisabeth.
Asami: Yes, that's right. In the middle of rehearsal for Elisabeth, I was suddenly called to the office, and out of nowhere they told me I was being moved to Snow Troupe… I really regret not being able to be in the Tokyo show!
Shizuki: It was the same for me when I changed troupes. I went to sleep and then woke up to find I'd gone from Flower Troupe to Moon Troupe. (Laughs) Without me even understanding what had happened or why.
Asami: I also had a feeling of “Poof!” So those were really tumultuous days. It was Snow Troupe, with all its traditions, and the first show was Shinjuu: Koi no Yamatoji (Double Suicide: Love of the Yamato Way) and I had never done a traditional Japanese play before. That and, since I started in the Tokyo run, everyone else could already do everything perfectly! The actions and everything, they were just so skilled. I felt like, “This place isn't Takarazuka at all!”
Shizuki: Like, “This is the Edo Era!!” right?
Asami: It was a huge culture shock. There was no one I knew around me. Tani-sensei said that “Back then, the script was your friend.” Even during breaks, I was always looking at the script. I don't remember it at all, but …
Shizuki: Komu-chan, back then didn't you mail or call me? About a song?
Asami: I had to sing “Kono Yo ni Tada Hitotsu” (In this World, Only One) and probably when I was in that crazy state I looked to you for help. Zunko-san, have you always sung?
Shizuki. Yeah, since 6 months before my exam [to enter the Takarazuka Music School].
Asami: Eh~! And you have that voice! It must be natural then.
Shizuki: Not at all. But starting way back then I enjoyed the Kage (Shadow) Chorus. When I was an underclassman I could always at least be sure of coming out at the Finale and when I was at the Finale I sang the theme song. Back then I always had a lot of fun singing the theme songs!
Asami: I did too. (Laughs) But I never called it the Kage Chorus. I had nothing to do in the first act of Elisabeth, right? So, I just had to choose what I'd done all those years… It was a new theater that time and the first time I'd been in its Kage Chorus Box. It was really convenient and I worked hard everyday.
Shizuki: I got lonely in a way after I became an upperclassman and there was no Kage Chorus. Back when I was an underclassman, I was awful, but I was on a mission. Everyday I did my best singing the theme song. Building on that, I gradually came to where I am today. I mustn't forget that. I don't really have to try so hard now that I have my own microphone!
Asami: Anyone who can sing the way you do is like a god to me. How can you sing so skillfully, or speak like you do? Where did that voice come from? Even now I don't forget how you taught me in Elisabeth, but I still get tense on stage.
Shizuki: Komu-chan, at the same time as the feeling, I focus on the way I take in my breath. Use your chest, use your chest – that's how I did it.
Asami: I try to remember that while I'm singing, but it's quite difficult. Still, I realize that it's not something I can master in just one day and night.
Watching the Snow Troupe Performance
Shizuki: Yesterday, for the first time since I retired, I saw Takarazuka with my husband.
Asami: It was kind of you to come to the Snow Troupe show. I could sense it from the stage – the two of you and your love-love power. (Laughs) I was singing on the Silver Bridge and there before my eyes was Zunko-san. Gotta go for it! And this weird energy came into me, and I became worse than usual… At least that's my excuse. I just wanted to hear you say I was terrible.
Shizuki: But I didn't. (Laughs) I don't know everything that went into being able to do that show. And of course, when you have a month and a half of shows there are difficult times that you don't tell anyone about and times when your whole body hurts. Within that, doing the best you can there on that day and trying your hardest is what's marvelous. Since I think just doing your absolute best is wonderful, I can't criticize or find fault.
Asami: Did I do the best I could?
Shizuki: You did.
Asami: Thank goodness! Then it was worth trying. Recently, you know, I'm getting asked, “What is your personal style?” more and more often. But I'm at a loss how to answer – I don't really know exactly what that is, my personal style.
Shizuki: Isn't there any hope? (Laughs)
Asami: Nope. I figured when I became an upperclassman of course it'd have formed. But it hasn't formed at all! (Laughs) You have your own personal style…
Shizuki: I don't!
Asami: (Laughs)
Shizuki: Well, just as an example, this ice cream we're eating now. If you said I was like ice cream, I'd feel like I couldn't do anything but become ice cream, with all of my self. Isn't it more interesting to be able to become anything? I'm the kind of person who thinks of it that way.
Asami: I understand, I understand. I thought you might have a way of thinking similar to my own, but I'm glad to hear you say so. (Laughs) It means it's okay for me to like my personal-image-unformed self.
Shizuki: But when I watch you on stage, I can feel an “Asami Hikaru” presence that you give out. I watched your smile from the seats the way a fan does and your appeal came out perfectly.
Asami: Nooo! Really, I'm happy you said that to me. It's so nice to meet with my distinguished senpai from Cosmos Troupe.
Shizuki: How unexpected for you to say that to me. (Laughs) Of course, you can always study by watching the people above you. But on the other hand, if you watch those below you there are a lot of times when they teach you instead.
Asami: Recently I've been watching the underclassmen a lot. I don't know if the underclassmen girls know it but… I can tell if they're not feeling well – but it's not a deep understanding or anything like that. Still, I want to be like Zunko-san, and I think if I keep trying my best I'll get to know them.
Shizuki: Keep trying!
Asami: I will. People's meetings – there's always a reason they happen, you know. If I hadn't met you, I really don't think I would be the same person I am now. And everyone else [in Cosmos Troupe] – if I hadn't met them, I wouldn't be me. It was fate that I was transferred to Cosmos Troupe.
Shizuki: Keep on being like Komu-chan!
Asami: Yes, I'll do my best. Since when I have a problem, I'll just contact Zunko-san! (Laughs)
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Note: The original Japanese text used on this site is the property of the Takarazuka Revue and Hankyu Corporation. It is used without permission, with the intent of publicizing the revue to a larger audience.
The translations on this site were done by me. I reserve all applicable copyright on them and DO NOT give permission for them to be redistributed, published, retranslated, used as fansub scripts, etc.